【14分作文】

　　Some people say that some numbers will bring them good luck. Take 8 for example. The Chinese pronunciation of the number “8” has almost the same sound as that of the Chinese character "發", which means making a fortune. Therefore, many Chinese people spare no money to get their telephone number or car number to include this number "8". They believe without any doubt that the number will bring them money.

　　However, others don't believe that numbers have any connection with good luck. They think such kind of idea is only an ignorant and superstitious belief. They will say: How can you ever have any good luck simply because of some lucky numbers, even if you don't work hard, don't have good opportunities and don't get along well with the people around you?

　　So far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter. Obviously, such belief is only a kind of superstition. Perhaps it holds true for some cases, but often it does not. Numbers can never bring good luck to a person at all and our fortune is in our own hands. Therefore, everyone can have good fortune only if he tries his best. Let's always remember "Opportunities are only for the prepared mind"and "No pains, no gains."

　　【點評】

　　本文之所以能夠得到14分，除了結構清晰、句式多變以外，還有很多語言上的亮點。

　　首先，遣詞用語準確地道。如第一段第四句中spare(吝惜，節約)一詞就用的很準，形象地刻畫出這類人的心態。緊接著第五句中的without any doubt(不假思索)的使用也非常恰當，提醒讀者不假思索地相信幸運數字是缺乏辯證思維的。另外，最后一段中的hold true也是典型的英語表達方式，顯現出本文用語的地道。

　　其次，適當運用修辭手法。第二段第四句運用反問使問題的答案不言自明，觀點的表達更加有力。而該句中三個don’t構成排比，更加強了氣勢，使論證達到高潮。

　　再次，恰當使用警句格言。本文的最后以兩句諺語作為結束，運用恰到好處，又突顯出作者的文采。

　　最后，開頭結尾突破常規。開頭運用例證為主題提供充分驗證，說服力很強。結尾用諺語收尾，使人眼前一亮。

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