第三篇

　　2007年真題

　　As depicted by the two pictures, a sharp contrast is shaped between the parents and the son. In the left drawing, the parents are working hard in the field, bending over and sweating heavily (\). Near them is a basket with very simple food in it. However, in the right drawing (picture), their son is squandering the money on luxurious food and chatting on mobile phone.

　　How pitiful the parents are! They spare no efforts to earn money in order to support their son's study and life (living) in university. They seem to be willing to do everything that is helpful to their beloved son. But, in return, the son spends the money as he likes (carelessly) without knowing (realizing) how hard his parents work for it and how he should use it to better prepare himself for future career.

　　In my opinion, the reasons for this phenomenon come down to one essential point-failure of both family and school education. For one thing, quite (\) a lot of Chinese parents spoil their children. All parents' love for children is the same, but different is (in) the way of showing it. Many parents hope too much that their children will have a bright future, which, in their eyes, means key universities, hot majors, good salaries and so on. So they try their best to satisfy the (their) children's demands instead of teaching them to struggle for future with their own hands. For another, centered on exam marks, the school education also fails (failed), to a large extent, to impart moral standards (norms) to the children, especially the conception (concept) of self-reliance and hard struggle.

　　In a word, to change the phenomenon described by (in) the above pictures, a reform in (of) our current education system is not only necessary but urgent.     (作文內容與圖片不相符)

Sara點評：16分，改了一部分細節方面的錯誤，內容方面比較完整，句式連貫性也不錯！注意個別相近詞的區別。